Your Mind Matters Episode 14 – Stuckness, Social Media, & Jerry Maguire

Your Mind Matters Episode 14 – Stuckness, Social Media, & Jerry Maguire

Feeling stuck? Wondering how to manage social anxiety when you have to work with people?  In this week’s podcast episode we talk about how to work through feeling stuck, whether or not to disclose mental health challenges on social media, managing social anxiety at work, and Chris’ love for Jerry Maguire.

Introduction

Chris and Christine discuss their plans for the weekend and Chris shares that he’s looking forward to watching one of his favorite movies of all time, Jerry Maguire. He describes how watching it as an adult has revealed different themes and meanings that he realized when he watched it as a kid. Christine shares how she has been watching a show with subtitles and that it’s forced her to be more mindful while watching TV since she can’t watch while doing other things. Chris describes having a similar experience.

Question 1

A common theme for most people is the feeling of being stuck and I myself am having a fairly challenging problem feeling stuck. Do you have any recommendations for anyone who can’t express their reasons for feeling stuck or any ideas that can help them get unstuck. Thanks.

Christine and Chris reflect on not being completely clear about what it means to be stuck. Is it something that you yourself have decided or is someone else telling you aren’t moving forward? Christine describes that it sounds to her like a general sense of mild displeasure or unhappiness, not being thrilled with life, stagnating, rather than a deep or intense sadness. Chris says that he thinks identifying the reason(s) for the feeling would be a good first step. Christine and Chris both reflect that they’ve had periods of time when they felt stuck. Chris has found it helpful to reflect on the causes and then find and set new goals that he can work towards. He needs challenges to target. Christine suggests reflecting and creating a 5 year plan, 1 year plan, 1 month plan, etc. and then breaking it down into achievable steps that you can work toward on a daily basis. She also suggests identifying values and determining what’s the best way to spend your time, and then regularly checking in with yourself to see if you’re sticking with those principles. Chris notes that pleasant activities and hobbies can be helpful and that pacing yourself when it comes to be a high achiever is a good idea, to foster work-life balance. He also mentions that sometimes the stuck feeling has helped him to explore new areas and find new passions, so it could actually be a blessing in disguise.

Question 2

I struggle with anxiety. Mostly generalized anxiety and social anxiety. I feel like I get really off to myself a lot and I would rather be alone and not around people. I took on a new job along with my regular part-time job, and I’m also a student.  I’ve found it really hard to speak with customers and it’s just really hard because I get really uncomfortable and I feel like people are in my space a lot and it’s a struggle. I want to know how I could deal with that in the future. Thank you.

Christine comments that the caller seems really busy and that the fatigue and exhaustion that likely come with having two jobs and being a student can contribute to difficult with emotion regulation. Everyone needs some down time or rest time and it sounds like the caller doesn’t have much of that right now. Chris agrees that coping with little time for self-care can be hard. Christine and Chris commend the caller for putting herself out there and stretching outside of her comfort zone by facing her social anxiety by being around people regularly. Chris reflects on his experience working in customer service and the fact that even though it was overwhelming at first, over time he got used to it and was able to cope. Christine describes that the caller is sort of doing her own exposure therapy and that her feelings may gradually diminish over time. She also suggests asking people to be patient if necessary, or considering consolidating the work into one job rather than two. Chris mentions that he thinks it’s pretty normal to want to be alone after a full day of socializing at work or school, and that everyone needs to recharge their batteries from time to time. Christine and Chris talk about their interactions with Uber drivers and Chris shares that he often pushes himself to engage and converse with strangers, even though he doesn’t always want to. It’s part of his recovery process to continue to work on his social anxiety.

Question 3

I had a question about talking about mental health on social media. I wondered what your have thoughts were as far as posting on social media about mental health challenges you may have. There are athletes and celebrities and also everyday people that are talking about their struggles. I wonder what your thoughts were on that. I myself have done a couple of posts on social media talking about mental health. Every time I do it I have mixed emotions. Part of me is happy that I’m doing it and part of me is terrified of doing it and kind of wondering if I did something that was wise. You know, it is a health issue and it’s not necessarily something you have to be super open about if you don’t want. I just wondered if it’s wise to talk about your health struggles online because of work or because of other things that could happen. Anyone could view your profile, so, I wonder what your thoughts were on that. Thanks.

Chris feels that it’s a tough decision to make. He describes how he has posted on social media but that it was a very conscious choice and is aware that there may be consequences for this decision. Even though it would be great if there were no stigma in the world, there is, and it’s important to weigh it. He feels that it’s a very personal decision to make. It can be beneficial to disclose your experiences and get support from others who have been through similar things. On the other hand, you may feel differently in a year or two, and you can’t unsay what you’ve said. Christine agrees that it’s a double edged sword. It’s worth considering what you are hoping to gain by posting. How much making that disclosure affects your life depends on the audience, you, your job, etc. She suggests considering what you’re hoping to gain and balancing that with who share it with. Chris and Christine agree that some people do seem to derive some benefit from sharing. Chris describes how he wrote a blog post about a panic attack but never posted it, and now looking back, is glad he didn’t. Christine highlights that it is a very personal decision, and it’s up to people to decide what they want to put out there. Chris has shared his experiences with anxiety very publicly, but he describes that it was a very reasoned decision that he thought carefully about and that it wasn’t something that he decided in the spur of the moment. Christine questions how helpful it really is to post about it on social media as opposed to seeking support from specific friends in person.

Do you have questions about mental health for the podcast? Call and leave us a message: 415-855-0553. You can also record an audio note of yourself and email it to info AT thinkpacifica DOT com.